WELCOME
i dont really care abt doing skins nowadays.
♥
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the first chapter is for you, best.
There's so much I want to say, & this, is for you.
I feel like I've drafted this blog post forever, but yet,
when I'm typing it out now, I can't recall all those snippets.
Kiara , imy.
I realy miss all those times.
I've lost all the luck, at the traffic lights.
I haven't eaten the cup noodle since the last time we did.
I haven't gone crazy the way I do only in front of you & nina in the longest time.
I can't read your messages cos it just makes me feel worse.
I haven't had a proper convo with you in ages.
I haven't heard you say something & meant it for some time now.
I haven't seen you w/o liner & with your specs for months.
I can't look at your friendster anymore cos it just hurts.
I can't run around in parkway w you anymore.
I can't believe what you're saying anymore.
I need to know you're still there, but this wish seems so hopeless.
There's no one left , did you know?
No one I can fully trust at the moment, cos people hide stuff.
I thought I could count on you, as cliched as best friends forever sounded.
I'm holding on to nothing now.
I'm the strongest in front of you, maybe you don't know.
Have I cried alot in front of you?
Not until recently, you see it and you don't know what to do.
I've tried my very best.
But when I'm at my weakest point, you're not there.
You're out, having fun.
I'm at home, crying.
No more, love.
There's no more friendship, is there?
You make it sound like you really care,
& that you'll never leave.
But now you're gone, you're gone.
& I don't know what to do about it.
Should I move on w/o you, or stand behind to catch you if you fall.
"Bestie, I am thinking so much. It's been long since we shared."
I held faith in you for so long the way you want me to-
"Look up at the stars and you'll know I'm still there."
I wish I could, but the stars are all gone now.
I'll keep every single promise, every single one.
I have.
Have you?
<3
p.s. Read the letter I wrote to you on your birthday last year.
