friend
friend
friend
friend
friend

12:27 AM
Somebody tell me what I've done wrong, just don't tell me everything.
I can't catch my breath. With every little problem, my heart starts beating so fast.
I can feel it, like something big is gonna happen.

What happened yesterday that got me all in tears?
We were at Macs, having alot of fun.
Then some of your problems caught up with you.
I tried to be there for you, I did.
You know how helpless I felt?
I just wanted to hug you and make you stop crying.
Then.
He came back and wanted to sit, so I moved.
But he was looking at me, with question.
So I looked back.
I could see something in his eyes, somehow.
Before I could look deeper,
he shouted.
YOU had to hold him close and tell him it was okay.
WHAT THE FUCK AM I TO YOU?
EVER THOUGHT BOUT HOW I FELT?
LIKE ASIF IT WAS ALL FUCKING MY FAULT.
AND DID I MENTION?
THINK BOUT HOW I FELT.
LIKE SHIT, THATS WHAT.
& I have to fucking swallow everything.


REALLY.
FUCK IT.
NO APOLOGY?
NEVERMIND.
THATS WHY I SAY.
I DESERVE ALL THIS.
OKAY FUCK?
I wanted to tell you how I felt,
but no you never have time to listen.
Busy, yes?
At least try, your very fucking best to keep one promise you make to me.
You make me cry too much, you know.
I can be so fucking sad now but yet I'm still right beside you.
When?
have you ever?
Really understood how I felt.

Helpless, I told you.
That's how I feel.

You leave me out of so many fucking things.
If you don't need me in your life,
JUST FUCKING TELL ME.
REALLY, SAVE ME THE PAIN.

I felt so angry today when I thought bout your Dad.
My heart beat so fast, I couldn't breath properly.
I want to grab him by the collar and tell him to take it out on me instead.
Really.
Beat me however he wants, cos it doesn't matter.
Every blow would be for you.
Really,
pass him a message will you.
Tell him to come and fuck ME up.


My head is fucking throbbing, do you even care.
Everything you put me through, false hopes.
There's no one there for me,
at least I thought you'd be different.
At least after more than two years.
I thought you'd have realised that we are like family and not friends.


BUT NOW.
Something is telling me that I was wrong.
I'm fighting for my life here,
to prove that thing wrong.
Just lend me your hand, please.


There's so much stuff I don't tell you, you know?
I know you have your own problems so I don't
want to overload you.
I have to be on my own.
I do have someone there for me,
but it's different you know?
You don't realise it.
I feel fucking inferior.
I'm not good enough for you and nina.
I told nina i have to feel something both of you never have to feel.
Do you know what?
Because both of you are far too fucking gorgeous for me.
I'm sorry, I'm not good enough.


My vision is blurring, I can't write this any much longer.
My fever is running, after the rain today.
Your life has just enough space for two.
Jaron is first, then comes Nina. Then maybe the backup plan?
Maybe there really isn't enough space.
I'll take my leave if you want me to,
just let me take one last bow alright?


Unbreakable? No, I'm not. And I can never be.




Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight
Can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust



Take Care of yourself.

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