11:02 PM
OMG, okay shoot me. I have been extremely inactive. I'm extremely depressed today, just came back from starbucks.
Nah, doesn't have anything to do with starbucks, just thinking bout the events of today all in all. Random much, i just love the starbucks people. They are so funny and lovely and blah blah, it's gonna be awesome working with 'em :D
IMMA BE A BARISTA, how cool is that, hehe. I'm like thinkin gup ways to be different, like not a typical barista yoz. I was thinking of getting the geek specs, but well idks. & I wanna wear a cap, that should be confirmed. :] THENNNN, i like want suspenders, but it'll be bocked by my apron anws D: Sooo, we'll see. Abit early to say anws. Just to name the people I can rmb, it'd be : Hakeem, Hussein, Khus, Aizat, Fish, Wana, etc. Although I don't really know them yet, I know we'll do fantastic working tgt :]
Is this place the only place we can communicate. I am extremely sad. You texted me twice today. 1) You're almost gone, you're good as gone. Breathe in deep and say goodbye. August is over. 2) Can we go back to where we were before, when you left your heart at my door. I looked through everything, and couldn't find anything perfect to reply anymore. Cos I've used every line up but to no avail. In the end I replied something I didn't even mean. I don't know how to feel anymore. Sometimes I feel so sad that I have to do this & if it's affecting you. Then something pushes me forward, hesitation it must be. It makes me cry, I'm not supposed to anymore. After which I look at your friendster and what not which just tells me one simple thg;
No, you don't need me. & how I hopelessly wish that you would prove me wrong. But no, your life is too perfect. You have all you need. You're so happy that I feel so sad. My heart is aching. My last text was supposed to be the goodbye one, honest. But I was really so scared that the world was gonna end, I just had to tell you I cared. Silly me. Then I saw the Sentosa photos & sent my second goodbye. I slept with the tears on my pillow that night. But you hit me time & again, like how you did today.
Believe me, when I saw the text pop up with your name, my heart stopped for a moment. Bit my lip, and tried to act all happy in front of the rest.
I'm scared. That if I let my heart out again, you'll just hurt me again. It's happened too many times, i'm so damn scared. I need reassurance, something you can't give me. I'm not playing whatever fiddle you want me to play anymore.
But do you know, you cross my thoughts every single day, w/o fail & idk why. it's so dumb
I just heaved a sigh, not of relief. I don't know what it is either. It's like whoa, I let it out. But I don't feel any better. Can I tell you one more thing? It's oh so dang silly. I hate, oh i detest, the way you never had a photo with me on your friendster. How you have so many others. How you never smile properly when I ask you to pose for a shot. How you have photos of people that haven't known you half the time I have. I'm too ugly to be put up, is that it? I hate the way you're still on my wallpaper.
There, let it out.
This is such a lousy way to change the topic but yeah, NEXT.
I love my class, to the maxxxxx. I love the way they make me laugh.
However,
I have something to say to some of you. Jokes are jokes right? I have my pride okay? I'm not perfect, and awareness is what I have. When you say some thing, it hits me. Hard. I just don't want to show it & ruin the mood. Don't take it for granted. Nah-uh, you don't want me to flare up. It's funny at first, and it's still funny maybe to you and whoever. But it was never funny to me, at all. & maybe you should just consider how I feel. Stop, for two seconds, just two. & consider.
Please, & thank you.
TRALALALALA, I know I owe class post like damn long already. I'll get it done, really soon. Hopefully next post?
Pamm, Claudy, Bryan, KaiLin, Tara & I played ball that day. I have a bruise on my knee D:
I just wanted to tell you that the way you acted was rather annoying. Even they were talking bout it. It just made you appear arrogant and everything else you're not. & damn was I pissed. I hogged the ball, I'm sorry. It wasn't intentional or whatnot but sorry anws. Don't act like that, it makes me consider alot. Or reconsider.
Lunched with the babes today, damn do I love them.
I don't feel like going to school tmr, headache is killing me and I have pw to do. Hook me up for tmr, anyone? I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to shoppppp D: I read Seventeen & Cleo past two days and omg so much I wanna get. Sponsors? Okay neverminddd, I'll have some quality time with my mummy later. HAHA. I was kidding, I don't wanna stress her. I love you mummy. How random was that yo. I need to work or else no money siaaaa. :[
Going starbucks on Sat cos Hussein says Wana is working Sat night :] Hope Herman calls me up soon :]
I'm gonna do Pw now. Like I mugged my ass off for Promos (to no avail), & I thought it was time to slack. But nooo? Roarrr.
Alrights, imma go do work now gonna leave loads of vids below yup? Watch, if your guts permit you. The front is a lil boring though.
