10:30 PM
I need one more H2, God please help me. I know I don't need to promote but I just want to do something for my pride. If I don't get it, I will accept it. But thank you God, for getting me here. I didn't expect to attain what I have, so yes. I do feel good about it already.
Today I will put a name down on my blog. That person's name is Khairiah and KHAI I LOVE YOU :] I don't know what I would have done w/o you last night, really. Thank you, for sticking up for me all this while. I guess I suddenly saw the light, HAHA. It's just that I trust people so much I don't see their flaws. I'm supposed to accept their flaws, I know. But when they dish out everything at me time and again, I don't think I can anymore. Don't blame me for it. I'll be fine, it'll take a while. You made me realise that everything ain't that bad afterall, THANK YOU.
To that person that let me down: I couldn't find the words to say for so long, I guess it was the fear of it all. Even right now I find it difficult. I no longer see you like how I used to, I don't know why. Fcuk it I'm damn confused. But I know one thing for sure. You are not my true friend, sure you used to be. Not after so fcuking many times, you're not. I finally see it, honestly. I cannot forgive you anymore, I've realised. Or you'll think you can bully me right? Just because I seem to forgive you fcuking take me for granted and let me down sooooo many times. You think I'm alright just cos you apologised. Wlao my english feels so bad when I'm angry cos the vulgarities just want to spit at your face. I'm so pissed suddenly, I thought I wasn't at first you know? But it hit me that you're just gonna keep doing it. Apparently not. I won't let you again, trust me. Indeed it is what you do that defines you. /F
Thank you so much Khai, and I'll always be here for you :]
Let's end with a songgggg D: Boys like Girls - The Only Way I Know How to Feel
Before you let me fall, Kill me so I don't feel it at all Push my body up against the wall And pick your poison Cuz everything feels wrong And I don't know where I belong
Take me for granted Make me feel used Leave me in pieces Misery is company Cuz I know that it's real I've learned to love the pain Cuz that's the only way that I know how to feel
Maybe it's a phase Maybe I'll break out of it someday Maybe this is just my twisted fate I always feel like everything is wrong And I don't know where I belong
Take me for granted Make me feel used Leave me in pieces Misery is company Cuz I know that it's real I've learned to love the pain Cuz that's the only way that I know how….
To feel your arms around my neck I'm suffocating with regret from all the wasted hours spent Believing I was never meant To touch the face of something real These sewn up scars will never heal But I put down a deal Cuz that's only way that I know how to feel
Take me for granted Make me feel used Leave in pieces Broken and bruised
Take me for granted Make me…I promise that you'll Never keep on fallin' to pieces Misery is company Cuz I know that it's real I've learned to love the pain Cuz that the only way that I know how to feel
I know how to feel... You're the only way that I know how to feel
